Alive in the Pain

Finding Joy in the Unrelenting Storm of Existence

Pain is an inescapable undercurrent of life, but it’s not the whole story. It pulses beneath every moment, sometimes faint and distant, other times roaring to the surface. Yes, there are flashes of joy, moments of euphoria - but they’re brief, like lightning illuminating a stormy sky. Life’s challenge isn’t avoiding pain; it’s learning how to live alongside it.

Imagine life as a tidal wave. A vast, unrelenting force that crashes and consumes. Many people are drowned in its overwhelming power, swept under by its weight. But some learn to ride it. Not because the wave ceases to be dangerous, but because they find balance atop it. Like professional surfers, they stand in defiance of the chaos below, carving moments of grace out of what could destroy them. And in those moments of balance, of focus, there’s something transcendent: euphoria.

But this euphoria is not detached from pain. It exists because of it. Consciousness - true, awake consciousness - perches atop the unconscious suffering that underpins our existence. When you let go of your thoughts, when you fully awaken to the present moment, you can feel it. That aliveness. That raw, unfiltered experience of being. It’s a paradox: euphoria riding on top of the pain you experience when you’re not awake. When you’re unconscious, pain dominates. But when you’re conscious, when you’re alive, that euphoria emerges - not as an escape, but as a harmony. A precarious dance atop the storm.

There’s a scene I often return to in my mind, drawn from the sands of Dune. I picture a massive sandworm, a creature so vast and terrifying it seems to embody the raw, unyielding forces of the universe itself. It rises from the desert, its gaping maw wide enough to swallow you whole. Most are consumed by it, lost to its overwhelming power. But what if you could master it? What if, like the Fremen, you could summon your courage, sink your hooks into its armored hide, and ride it? Feel its raw, untamed power beneath you, its thunderous movements a constant reminder of the danger. The ever-present threat of being cast off - or devoured.

Yet, in riding it, fear dissolves. You become one with the beast, the storm, the chaos. Riding the sandworm is the ultimate act of defiance, the purest form of being alive. Not succumbing. Not giving up. Not being swallowed. But mastering the tide of existence itself.

That’s what joy is, I think. Not the absence of suffering, but the ability to ride it. To grapple with pain, to sink your hooks into it, and refuse to be overcome. Living isn’t about escaping pain; it’s about transforming it. The tidal wave will always come. The sandworm will always rise. But to ride it? To find balance and grace amidst the chaos? That’s joy. That’s being alive. That’s life.